I came across an article in this weeks local paper about  feminism. It was nothing deep, just a new viewpoint among college females who are taking Women's Studies. The thing is, "feminism" has changed. The article reminded me of something I had been thinking about this week.
In my 20's, which was in the 80's, I was a stay-at-home mom. That was not a cool thing back then. That was when women wanted to be CEO's.. .wear a sharp suit and bite the balls off their male co-workers.
I was considered to be a wheenie as a woman and a bore because I stayed at home and raised three kids.
The point of this article was that women now (especially college age ladies) see feminism as a way to have equal rights, to do what they want to do, and what they wish for is comfort. Yes, I said comfort. The comment was even made that when the uniforms for basketball came out, the males were baggy and made for comfort, the girls were form fitting and very uncomfortable. Even with all of the feminism stuff, women still are expected to look and act in a way that allows men to be happy.
The college ladies now seem to  want to have the support and respect of a husband vs the past credo of I am independant and want to do to all alone!
I am even amazed at watching my oldest daughters view on her future....yes, she is independant, but is also planning a future with her BF and not on a high position carrer as a single woman. Young ladies today are more looking forward to marraige and the raising of children. Maybe we are just tired of having to fight, fight, fight. We, as women, are so good at so many things...nurturing, empowerment, guidance, following our intuition, creativity...so many things that are so needed in our society today.
I'm not saying that the feminism of the past was wrong...I guess sometimes a group has to go to extremes, towards one end to finally make their way to the center and balance.

I used to say that I was always in the wrong place at the wrong time. I use to hate how I was treated for being a stay-at-home mom.
But, now, I can look back and be really grateful that my path was not one of trying to one up the men...mine was about nurturing and guidance and creating a path for three humans to be able to grow up kind, healthy and with a feeling of roots, structure, home and loving relationships.
I like the direction the feminism path is going now. My daughters can happily have careers as well as happily get married, give birth and do all those wonderful things that we women are so good at.

Yes, its true, I love American Idol. I didn't watch it last season, but was a faithful follower for the previous ones.
I have to say that this years contestants are amazing! A high percentage of them have wow'ed me.

But, this post is about last night's performance by Chris Daughtry.
Not only is he sexy, humble, genuine and very talented, but he always puts his personal touch on every song he performs and last night he did 'Walk The Line'....an alternative rock version.
I would go out and buy that song right now  if it was available!  WOW!!!

Of course, Mandisa is truly ManDIVA...awesome....and I think Taylor is...unique and fun...enjoy him.
Ace is a doll....Paris and Lisa, amazing talent...Pickles, a hoot.....
Whew, its tough voting this year...but I just had to drool and discuss Chris.

While growing up, art was always realistic. I mainly did sketching and pen and ink. I did a lot of portraits and pictures of animals and I had to make sure they depicted perfectly what I was drawing.

Now, I am inclined to do abstract, but still find that I hold myself back due to wanting it to look like something.
This is something I have been working on....really letting myself go and feeling my way through it. The few paintings where I had no preconceived ideas before hand are some of my best pieces.
But, as I said, this is still a struggle for me. It comes from all of those years of sitting and drawing and having my dad come along and say..."start over, it doesn't look right".

Anyway...I had something happen to me back in December that hurt like hell. I mean, it crushed me so severely, I was depressed for months.
I tried letting it go and ignoring it, but it would come back up in various ways.
The situation happened when someone who claimed they were my best friend did the most cruel thing to me (and having a whole group of ladies join her in it) and then would not tell me why....it was out of the blue and very viscious.
Not something to easily get over, especially when all of them wouldn't say why it happened.
It reminded me of something a group of snobs would do in Jr. High school.
I realized that instead of it going away with time, it was growing inside me.
I needed to do something to physically get it out of me...to feel the pain, the anger and hurt and finally have it released. I needed to bury that friendship for good.
Time does heal all wounds, but with some, you do have to go through releasing them, or they sit and fester for ever.
So, after hours of crying one night this weekend, I knew what to do.
Sunday, I had the house to myself. I wanted rebellious rock and roll playing (I chose Block Party, Aerosmith and The Rolling Stones), I got a board ready, jotted down the poem below to word my feelings then I set about painiting the feelings.
I was very physical and it felt so good!
Below is the poem I wrote (and please, its not meant to be good poetry, just getting words down)

It's there in that bottom drawer
All that stuff
that wanted to break me
I know-
it's hard to get open,
it's so damn full.
I don't open it often,
sometimes I don't even recall whats in there
till something is said or
they show up again.
My heart tightens and I think
oh yeah - I put that in the bottom drawer.
You and your bitch squad were the last I stuffed in there.
You labeled yourself as my best friend, the only one you confided in.
Then out of the blue, I really have no idea why
you needed someone to hurt,
maybe because your daughter had hurt you,
I still don't know.
But, you fired them up, and they took pity on you.
Of course, thats just what you wanted,
someone to pay attention to you,
someone to see you as that nice lady,
 who shouldn't have any heartache.
So, like zombies in a horror flick,
the whole gang came at me
in the dark, without any warning.
Steely cold knives sliced and crushed,
killing blows to an already
fragile soul weakened by all the other stuff
in that bottom drawer.

Here is the first layer of paint. My intentions are to carry this through to resolution, not just leave it at anger.



 

I am doin a little dance of joy right now.
Years ago, when I had my Interiors biz, I used a name other than my own. Once I started doing my art full time, I decided I would use my name...as in Ashley Long Fine Art.
I bought a domain and set up my website. I never even thought to go do a search on it. Oh well.
One day an old friend of mine sent me an email. He told me he had decided to hunt me down and since he did know my married name, did a yahoo search. He proceeded to tell me that 'Ashley Long' is a porn star...so...ummm...what was I up to these days???
Well, I am NO porn star (cept in the dark on special occasions..heehee) But, anyway, I decided to take a looksie and sure enough, page after page in the search engines was the blonde...porn star.
OK, so now what do I do?
I asked the experts....no one really could give me concrete answers...but the thought was that I could piggy back on her name.

Well, I had my domain name, I had my website and since I am not real good at minding the store (all I want to do is paint) I didn't worry about it. Eventually, I came up with Five Crows Studio just becuase of how I would never win over her. I mean, really...sex verses art??
But, I'm lazy, I never transferred over the domain name to Five Crows Studio.
Life went on and here it is, time for me to renew my domain.
So..after long sighs and what should I do, I did another yahoo search under my name.
Guess what????  I AM AT THE TOP OF YAHOO!!!!!!!!!!

I DID IT! WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO
Lots of disappointed folks out there I"m sure...lookin for some sexy booty and they come across me....*doin my diva stance* ...they only wish!

If you really want to find the perfect human relationship, look for someone who is cat-like.
Likes to be alone and happy to be with you.
Happy when you are there and happy when you're not there.
Licks your face occasionally.
Will take all the scratching and petting you are willing to offer.
Feels secure.
Sleeps when it feels like it.
Hunts when he feels like it.
Basks often.
Meditates regularly.
Never feels guilty, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER!
Does emphatically what he wants to do.
Is always glad to see you.
Never cares when you leave.

Seems like the perfect partner.

YES!!!
~ Abraham-Hicks

Today's newsletter from Robert Genn  for artists discussed several topics I have been pondering lately.
Below is what the topic was for today:

Should I blog?

March 10, 2006

Yesterday, Carol Barber of Gainesville, Florida wrote,
"I've been hearing that the way to sell your art
and to be known as an artist these days is to be 
a blogger.
I've read that artists need to connect with the public
because they want to know the artist.
Collectors are buying the artist, not just the art.
I know the most important thing for me is to strive
for high quality in my art.
Marketing seems a tricky business.
Then there is you. The art world knows you as
a friendand you come across as likable,
joyous and living the idyllic artist life. 
Is exposure the answer?" 

Thanks Carol. I've always sort of agreed
with George Bernard Shaw: "When you know the artist 
you think less of the art." 
It seemed better to me to be in my studio,
paying attention to my process, 
striving for demon quality. 
To be straight up, my motivation for writing
the Twice-Weekly letter was to get off a 
whole bunch of arts-related boards
and to try to make my modest 
contribution in a more direct way.
The Internet makes it possible.
I want to help creative people to think about things. 
I also like the idea of the artistic global village,
and the brotherhood and sisterhood of artists. 

Robert Henri said, "Through art, mysterious bonds 
of understanding and of knowledge are established. 
They are the bonds of a great brotherhood. 
Those who are of the brotherhood know each other,
and time and space cannot separate them."
When you get a bit older, like me, 
it's nice to be known by what you think.
I walked into a room the other day
and everyone there was a subscriber.
Some of them were collectors. And they knew, 
golly they knew, what I was thinking about. 
There really is something to be said for not
having to answer the question, 
"Are you still painting?" 

At the present time there are 70,000 new blogs
going up every day. 
Several thousand readers of this letter run 
some sort of blog. 
Some bloggers report hundreds of visitors, others 
thousands. While exposure won't make an 
inadequate artist successful,
blogs are a part of the widespread and ongoing 
democratization of our world.
Unless something comes along to wreck it, the future
is online.
There's a future in posting your art
for the world to see. 
There's a future in telling your story.
There's a future in sharing. Sharing might just be our 
salvation. "Friends share all things." (Plato)  

Best regards,

Robert

Now, the couple of things rambling around in my head lately has been: I set this blog up as my studio blog, yet, I really don't post about my art (except for maybe a few times)
As well, the online contacts I have made in regards to the buying and selling of my art has not come from my blog. I haven't really promoted it, it just became a place to write about the tid-bits of my life.
I realized that I was not one who wanted to post a pic of a half done painting and say this is my work in progress. I really don't want anyone knowing my process. I may talk about how something made me feel in regards to a certain piece, but really, I find myself very private in those matters. I'm not sure why.

This made me curious.....does viewing an artists blog allow you to feel a better connection?  Does it do anything to help a visitor possibly make a purchase?
Are Robert's opinions your opinion?
Do you desire to see half done paintings posted? Do you desire to know the process an artist goes though? How their studio looks? What they believe about their art or art in general? Does this influence you in any way?
I would love any input on how you feel about this topic!

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had
never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and
kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and
she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have
a seat while she prepared tea.
As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed
a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water
and in the water floated, of all things, a condom! When she returned
with tea and scones, they began to chat.
The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and
its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and He could
no longer resist. "Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would
tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl.
"Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through
the Park a few months ago and I found this little package on the
ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet
and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I
haven't had the flu all winter."

Since there are a zillion blogs with witty commentary regarding the Oscars, I shall not even attempt it.

I will express my few heart felt thoughts, then post pics that will allow this Oscar event to stay with me for some time.
Okay.....
1. LOVED 'Crash' so glad it won...we need movies like that.
2. Am impressed with George Clooney...not only is he sexy, but he just seems like a real great guy.
3. LOVED Broke Back Mnt and am very happy it got the recognition it did.
4. I have loved Jennifer Garner since I first became addicted to Alias and thought she was so cute in her almost slipping recovery and adorable line of "Thank you, I do all my own stunts."
5. I adore Reese Witherspoon, loved her performance in 'Walk The Line' and think she is a very high class lady.
6. Was nice to see J. LO looking normal and beautiful.
7.  Was very happy that this year was NOT about Tom Cruise (didn't even see a pic of him...YAY! )
8. Thought Jon Stewart was hysterical and did a fabulous job.
9. I want the music to Crash and BBM...and must admit...The Pimp song was very catchy. (I still want to see that movie)
10. And now........for the pics.....of...Jack Nasty! (what a cutie!)

OK, here is the thing about me and cooking: I hate it.
I had to cook at a very early age as my mom had MS and I took over all household duties at the age of 13.
This included grocery shopping and cooking.
My mom was a horrible cook, so in teaching myself, I made sure I made tasty meals.
I left home to get married and raised three kids. I made sure they ate healthy meals and it seemed I was always in the kitchen...seemed that was my life for so friggin long...blah.
Well, first hubby liked to cook and would do so...I loved letting him.
Second hubby is a great cook as well ( I seem to have a knack for finding men who are sagatarians, from Ohio, cook well and give good foot rubs) but...I digress, back to my topic.
Since hubby #2 does most of the cooking, I have pretty much stayed out of the kitchen since we met. I still have my most famous meals that I (and only I) make...but for the most part, the kitchen is not my domain anymore.

But, lately, since I am home all day now, I have begun considering the whole cooking thing...at least a little.
I also have noticed Rachael Ray and have watched a few of her shows and really like what she makes.
At Sam's club a while back, I saw that she has a cookbook out called" Rachael Ray 365: No Repeats"

Well, today, I had a hankering to go to Sam's...I love going there and shopping and finding cool deals and stuff I can't live without (but thats another topic as well)
Anyway, I decided to buy the cookbook (that in itself is a HUGE deal...me? buying a cookbook? That 15 bucks that could be spent on paint!!)
*ahem* Anyway...it looks really good and I'm actually excited about trying out some new recipes!
I'll let you know how it goes....
Move over hubby...mama's back in the kitchen!

I went to visit Terri at her blog and found this (which she got from Kenju's blog -a blog I also love visiting) and decided to put it on mine today!

I am putting a parenthesis  in the ones I have done...copy and paste to yours and play along as well!
Let me know if you do so I can go read yours!
   
(x) Drank so much you threw up
(x ) Smoked a cigarette
( ) Crashed a friend's car
( x ) Been dumped.
( ) Been laid off/fired
( X) Quit your job
( ) Been in a fist fight
( ) Snuck out of your parent's house
( x ) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) Been arrested?
(  ) Gone on a blind date
( X ) Lied to a friend.
( X ) Skipped school
( ) Seen someone die
(x ) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
( X) Been on a plane
( x ) Been lost
(x ) Been on the opposite side of the country
( X ) Gone to Washington, DC
( X ) Swam in the ocean
(x  ) Felt like dying
( x ) Cried yourself to sleep
(x ) Played cops and robbers
(  ) Recently colored with crayons
( ) Sang karaoke
(x ) Paid for a meal with only coins
( x ) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't?
(X ) Made prank phone calls
(X ) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
( x ) Caught a snowflake on your tongue.
( x ) Danced in the rain
( x ) Written a letter to Santa Claus
( x ) Been kissed under the mistletoe
( ) Watched the sun rise with someone you care about or love
( x ) Blown bubbles
( ) Made a bonfire on the beach
( ) Crashed a party
( x ) Gone roller-skating
(x ) Ice-skating

Any nicknames?   Lots, my family loves nicknames...too many to list!

Mother's name?   Marsha

What is your favorite drink? Coke, coffee, unsweet iced tea, limeade with cherries

Tattoos? NONE

Body piercing? 2 in each ear

How much do you love your job (1-10)  I work in my art studio and its a 10!

Birth Place?  Roswell, NM

Favorite vacation spot?  Lake Powell

Ever steal any traffic signs? No

A, B, C, D, DD cup size?  

2 Door or 4 Door?   Audi - 4 door  Saab - 2 door

Salad dressing?   Creamy parmesan basil

 Favorite pie?  Pecan or a berry type pie

Favorite number?  11

Favorite movie?   Moulin Rouge

Favorite holiday?  Thanksgiving

Favorite food?  Indian or Mexican

Favorite day of the week?  Friday

Favorite brand of body soap? Dial Lavender Oatmeal bodywash

Toothpaste?   Arm & Hammer peroxie care

Favorite smell? Honeysuckle or Vanilla

What do you do to relax?  Bubble bath or read

How do you see yourself in 10 years? Hoping I can still walk

What do you do when you are bored?  Nap, watch a movie or internet